Three Powerful Words

So yesterday I'm sitting in traffic, driving home from my daily 9 to 5 grind. I'm in the right lane. A landrover is next to me. There are two young girls probably no more than 12 with the windows down. One in the front seat and the other in the back. The one in the front seat screams out to me "Jesus Loves You!" At first I'm thinking this is a little strange. But then this smile comes across my face. What powerful words to be screaming out to cars. I saw her scream the same words out to the car in front of me. They also had their window down. And their reaction as well was a positive one. I watched these girls continue their little movement. I continued driving when this feeling just peacefully resonated within me. I guess I NEEDED to hear those three words. I've been struggling lately with negative emotions and things going on. And this was the positive sign I needed to guide me in another direction. SOMEone knew I needed to hear those words. It always seems so much easier just to dwell on the negativity in your life. I consider myself a professional and tend to have my own pity party on a regular basis. But I am in my early 30's and have the tendancy to look forward in time dreading the idea of aging. How nice it would be to stay young forever... But I am now worried that life will slip me by, and I'm spending all these years saying "I wish, I want, If only, etc." Before I know it... I will be 60 and have nothing to look back upon and feel successful about. I may not have the job I always dreamed of. I may not have that child in my arms yet. I may not have that big home that I want to entertain in.... BUT.... I DO have a job that pays my bills and supports me. I DO have an amazing husband who loves me dearly. I DO have a cozy little home that supplies a roof over my head. And all of the above can and will be changed and are within reach. So rather than dwelling on what I don't have, I need to focus on what I do have, and be grateful for those things in my life. Things will change, things WILL get better. I can't live this life I've got now with regrets because I don't know how long I've even got it for.

So to those girls in the land rover: THANK YOU!!! Thank you for those 3 powerful words that really made an impact for me last night. God Bless.

Wow It's been a while!

It has been quite some time since my last posting. Here's a little update as to what's happening in my life and with DDB.

DDB finally completed a HUGE school order that had been hanging over my head for a few weeks. I had to make 25 streamer pony tail ribbons and 25 korker pony tail ribbons. The streamers were a piece of cake and were done within a day or two. The korkers were much more time consuming than I had expected them to be. And I ran out of ribbon at one point and had to order more. Needless to say, the last 19 that I needed to finish after deliver of the first batch took me quite some time. I'm so happy though that this order is finally complete and shipped! I took the weekend off from bows, and last night started back up again rebuilding my etsy stock. I only have 24 items listed, so I've got alot of work ahead of me. I made 6 new items last night that I plan to list tonight. I will continue creating tonight in hopes to build that stock back up quickly. My focus last night was getting holiday/winter items in my shop nice and early. I want to get my inventory rebuilt and keep up some networking in hopes to get sales up. We had a nice jump in sales (more than doubled) in the beginning of September. If I could keep that pace up, then I would definitely start to see the fruits of my labor. Profit/loss wise, I am just shy of breaking even, but it's difficult because I am usually in need of more supplies for something somewhere.

On the personal front... My husband and I are booked every Saturday and Sunday through all of October and even into the first three weeks of November. It's that time of year where you start to think about how a little extra money would be nice. Granted, I think of that on a daily basis all year round. But for some reason when fall hits, I am usually focused on trying to find another way to earn some extra cash if possible, or get a second job. With DDB still fairly new, it's like having a second full time job. I come home and sit down to work on bows. I just need to stay positive and know that all of this hard work WILL pay off someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later. We have the tendancy to go to open houses once in a while. We aren't actively looking to buy a home at the moment, but we like to check out homes and see what they are listed for in order to stay knowledgeable about what's going on in the market. We do eventually want to get into our bigger/permanent home. Well let me tell you..... We walked into a home on Sunday that would be within our price range that I absolutely fell in love with. I walked out of that home with my chin practically quivering and tears almost in my eyes because I could absolutely envision us spending the rest of our lives there. I could picture kids running around and just how comfy and cozy we would make it. We could totally entertain there too. But we are unfortunately not in a position right now to put our house on the market and upgrade. We live in this small lake home. And there are days when I don't know where our money actually went. So it almost feels like we may not ever be able to afford a bigger home some days. And that is just depressing. I love our little home, but we are out growing it as it is. Oh well. There's a reason for everything right....

If You Blink You Will Miss It...

There are certain events that occur such as death, or birth of a baby, that change your life forever. It seems that moreso in the loss of a loved one is when we tend to take the time to step back and remember. It is then we realize how much we appreciate what we have. Why is that? Maybe it's where I live and the fact that everyone here is always in a rush. Constantly on the go. Stressed out over life situations. In fact... My sister in law and I went to a store today to look for something. We told the cashier we were in a rush. His response: "Everyone in NJ is always in a rush. I just moved here, and everyone is just moving way too fast." To that I almost responded... "I take it you haven't visited NYC yet." But I didn't. I said it was my company's fault for not giving a long enough lunch period, hence the need to rush. His comment of course striked up conversation for the ride back to work. He's absolutely right. We talked about how certain states/atmospheres create a different feeling. But unfortunately there are only certain events that occur that really make us stop and think about the things that are most important to us.

Tomorrow marks one year that a friend of ours passed away. He passed away two weeks before our wedding. He was the first person to respond. He continually talked about how much he couldn't wait for our wedding. His death was sudden and unexpected. Ryan was 29 years old. I have since reached out to his mother, and know that she is hurting so badly inside. She emailed me last month telling me that she was beside herself knowing that July was on its way. I've thought about him and his family constantly today. But it just got me thinking about the things that are going on in my life.

I've been so stressed for various reasons. There are things going on within my personal life and work life that just keep pulling me in various directions. My head feels like it's spinning out of control sometimes and all I feel like I can do is cry. (And I've got the zits to prove it) I pray about it all constantly. I really just want to feel relaxed and I know that it is all in God's hands. I know that what is meant to be, will be... yet I have these feelings and thoughts that are constantly weighing me down. Why is it that I just can't appreciate what I have in life? When ever I say my prayers the first thing I do is thank God for all that I am, all that I have, and everyone I love. I wish I could just push that negativity out of my mind.

My point of all of this is that it seems like when someone we care about passes away... that's when people truly appreciate what they have and those around them. Why does it take something like that to bring out such gracious feelings? In an attempt to be positive I will end with this....

I am a very fortunate person. I have a roof over my head. An amazing husband. Two very devoted pups. A job that pays the bills. I still have my brothers and my parents in my life, as well as my in laws. I have truly amazing friends. I truly am blessed. So now the trick is to figure out how to concentrate on what I have so I can stop dwelling on what I don't have or what I want...