If You Blink You Will Miss It...

There are certain events that occur such as death, or birth of a baby, that change your life forever. It seems that moreso in the loss of a loved one is when we tend to take the time to step back and remember. It is then we realize how much we appreciate what we have. Why is that? Maybe it's where I live and the fact that everyone here is always in a rush. Constantly on the go. Stressed out over life situations. In fact... My sister in law and I went to a store today to look for something. We told the cashier we were in a rush. His response: "Everyone in NJ is always in a rush. I just moved here, and everyone is just moving way too fast." To that I almost responded... "I take it you haven't visited NYC yet." But I didn't. I said it was my company's fault for not giving a long enough lunch period, hence the need to rush. His comment of course striked up conversation for the ride back to work. He's absolutely right. We talked about how certain states/atmospheres create a different feeling. But unfortunately there are only certain events that occur that really make us stop and think about the things that are most important to us.

Tomorrow marks one year that a friend of ours passed away. He passed away two weeks before our wedding. He was the first person to respond. He continually talked about how much he couldn't wait for our wedding. His death was sudden and unexpected. Ryan was 29 years old. I have since reached out to his mother, and know that she is hurting so badly inside. She emailed me last month telling me that she was beside herself knowing that July was on its way. I've thought about him and his family constantly today. But it just got me thinking about the things that are going on in my life.

I've been so stressed for various reasons. There are things going on within my personal life and work life that just keep pulling me in various directions. My head feels like it's spinning out of control sometimes and all I feel like I can do is cry. (And I've got the zits to prove it) I pray about it all constantly. I really just want to feel relaxed and I know that it is all in God's hands. I know that what is meant to be, will be... yet I have these feelings and thoughts that are constantly weighing me down. Why is it that I just can't appreciate what I have in life? When ever I say my prayers the first thing I do is thank God for all that I am, all that I have, and everyone I love. I wish I could just push that negativity out of my mind.

My point of all of this is that it seems like when someone we care about passes away... that's when people truly appreciate what they have and those around them. Why does it take something like that to bring out such gracious feelings? In an attempt to be positive I will end with this....

I am a very fortunate person. I have a roof over my head. An amazing husband. Two very devoted pups. A job that pays the bills. I still have my brothers and my parents in my life, as well as my in laws. I have truly amazing friends. I truly am blessed. So now the trick is to figure out how to concentrate on what I have so I can stop dwelling on what I don't have or what I want...

I'm walking for a cure over night

Over the years I have always tried to do things for good causes. An important cause to me is finding a cure for cancer. I'd like to share my reasons with you.

When I was 19, I experienced my first loss of someone close. My best friend's mother passed away from Lung Cancer. It was devastating to experience death for the first time like that. But we've always tried to do something in memory of her.

January 18, 2006: My good friend Jessica had a lump removed from her breast on her 28th birthday. She had found it while nursing her 8 month old son. She underwent chemo and radiation, and lost her hair. Par for the course I guess. She was considered clear and free and had hair growing back by the time our engagement party happened in November of that year. While she was recovering, her 31 year old sister also noticed a tumor and started her own battle with cancer. Jessica chose the medical route for treatment, Amy chose the natural route. Jess miraculously became pregnant with her second son. While pregnant her sister Amy lost her battle with cancer in June 2007. She gave birth to her beautiful son on August 28, 2008. Jessica's hair was all grown back, she was healthy! Dealing with the loss of her sister was enough to deal with. She started having pains in her neck that kept worsening. When Gavin was 8 weeks old, Jessica's cancer had returned. This time already in her lymph nodes. I will never forget the day I took her for her brain scan. I drove her, helped her with the kids, and went home. It was a rainy day and I was off of work so I could go to a wedding down the shore. I got a call 20 minutes after being home. It was Jessica. She was crying telling me she had cancer in her brain and she was going to die. I lost it and cried with her. I told her we were going to stay positive, and not give up yet. And that's just what she did. She fought and FOUGHT HARD right to the end. She died 2 months later on December 21, 2007. Six months after her own sister's passing and one month before her 30th birthday. By the time she passed, the breast cancer had spread through her organs and down her spinal fluid. I remember spoon feeding her root beer floats because that's what she wanted even though she could barely get the words out. I remember telling her how much I loved her. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss Jessica. SHE is the reason I do what I do. She is the butterfly in my life.

So you may ask... why am I walking over night? Well I am bringing my team Friends With Angels to the Relay for Life of Montville. The theory of this event is that people with cancer live with it 24 hours a day. So by walking over night, it is symbolic that we won't sleep for a cure. What people affected by this illness go through is just incredible. Walking and raising money is the LEAST I can do to help.

If you are interested in making a donation, you can go to the following link. Any gift is a generous gift. I am forever grateful for the continued support in my life.

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/bobbi.tomalo

My team is also hosting a bowling fundraiser. We are looking for sponsors who would like to sponsor lanes! Lanes are $45 and lanes will have a sign posted recognizing each sponsor. The event is this weekend the 31st. If anyone is interested in sponsoring a lane and having their business advertised, please feel free to reach out to me asap. Thanks!